I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
