Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
