He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
