What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
