3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You were trust falling into bushes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
