no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
