I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
