I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
