roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
