I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Randomize
