do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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