I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
