what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The air was thick with penises
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
