oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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