Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
