I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
