I just made out with a guy for $7.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
