haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
are you so shy because you have an std?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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