Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
