I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
