i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
