WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How does it feel to date your dad?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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