Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
