I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
