It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i've created a new STD.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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