Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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