thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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