Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
