We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm gonna fight the coyote
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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