At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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