I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
