Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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