i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize