pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize