I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
