Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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