Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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