Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
