As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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