nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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