I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
