You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
