just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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