is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
