You really coming over, don't trick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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