this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
