and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
