he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
