I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize