Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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