i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
