When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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