I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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