i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
