just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
