Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think I just sharted jello shots
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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