I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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