I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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