Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
