I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
